WHY AM I ALWAYS LATE?

I just can't seem to get anywhere on time, and that's been a problem all of my life. My mother said that I will be late for my own funeral, I hope she's right about that. Seriously, no matter what I do, I'm always late. I have no less than ten clocks in my home, this is no joke, I have over sixty watches, I know because I've counted them. Now get this, they are all set at different times, all except the ones that are digital, and get real time. Those darn things, I can't figure out how to trick them, I mean the ones on the cable boxes, cell phones etc. Okay now, I set them all at the wrong time, (ahead), to try to trick myself, but wouldn't you know, I know how far ahead they all are. I've even tried not changing them when daylight savings time changes. Nope didn't work.

Now, it's not that I don't want to be on time, I do. I just think I'm hard wired to be late. I've tried different tactics. Some of the things I've tried are, laying my clothes out, even down to the jewelry, getting up earlier than I need to for the event, not going to bed. Seriously, I've tried these and many others. Here's what happens sometimes. I'll get ready on time and oh, I can just see it, I'm salivating, I'm going to make it this time. Oh, I'm a little bit too early, I have plenty of time, can you see where I'm going with this. You see, when I think I have all of this time, it begins, the procrastination. I'll look around my room and maybe, I'll have to close a drawer, or closet door, take down some dishes that I have in my bedroom, straighten the bed spread or the pillows, no seriously, these are some of the things I find to do with "all of that time that I have left." Okay, so now I'm downstairs, in the kitchen, remember, with those dishes that I had to take down. Uh, oh, there's dishes on the counter, I have to stack them in the sink or dishwasher. Oh yes, and the floor needs a little sweeping. Looking at the clock on the stove or Microwave, (remember they're set ahead), I only have a little time, but that's okay I'm going on out to the car anyway.

I'm getting in the car, yeah, I'm going to be on time. Oh boy, I left my watch, you know I can't leave my watch. Getting to the door, find that elusive door key, okay I'm in now, who left this towel on the sofa, gotta take it to the bathroom. Now look at this sink, after all this is the bathroom that my guest will use if they come over, now that's done, go get the watch. I'm getting a little nervous now, but I still have a little time (about 5 mins). I got the watch, now go. I'm getting to the car and I look around and some paper or trash in on the lawn, you know that I can't leave that there. I go to the trash can and they are still at the curb, so before I can put the trash in it I have to put them all back in the yard. Now I'm late, so I just throw up my hands in disgust, and try to figure out what excuse I can give, if asked, as to why I'm late. This may sound contrived, but it's not, these are real events, not all happening at the same time, but they do happen to me. This might seem to explain things, but not to me, because I truly intend to be on time. You see, I'm not by nature a true procrastinator, no really, I'm not.

A few consequences of my bad habit, one I've passed that habit on to my daughters, and guess what, I'm always arguing with them about it. The nerve! Another thing, I lost a job for the same reason, to be honest I didn't really want to continue working there anyway. Nevertheless, I still should have been on time. Being that I was such a good worker they took it as long as they could, but as with anything, enough is enough, and I fully understood. I was fortunate enough to work for myself for a long time, so then I could call the shots, so my being on time for work was not really an issue during that time.

I've actually missed wedding ceremonies, I felt were important. I've missed more than one flight, and had to get a later one. Let me tell you how I can miss a flight. I'll start packing a week in advance, and pack and unpack the luggage numerous times. On the day of travel, I'll check and double check, and everything seems to be in order. Oh no, I forgot to pack that sweater that I might need in Miami in July. Okay, got that, I'm in the car, oops, I forgot to use the bathroom the last time, before I take that long ride to the airport. I'm ready, now, lets go. One block away, "did I turn the stove off?" Back at home, the stove's off, but I forgot to pack that 10th dressy outfit I might need for the week long trip, got that, I'm really on my way now. I'm feeling good now, because I still have "lots of time," oh, no, I forgot my neck pillow, I never travel without that, (get off the freeway and go back), got the pillow, back on the road. Now my time is running out, but I still think I can make, I'm getting real nervous, but, I press on anyway. Okay now, I'm on the freeway, and what do I see, traffic, traffic. Needless to say I missed that flight. No, honestly, this really did happen once,(maybe not the sequence of events, but similar), the reason I could go back so many times is because I was driving myself to the airport. Then there's the time we as a family held up a whole plane,(trying to say goodbye to all the relatives), I guess, because it was so many of us(seven), they waited. I could go on and on about the consequences of my penchant for being late, but believe me I don't have the time. I'M RUNNING LATE!

Even though I feel hard wired to always be late, I am determined that I will work hard at changing my wiring. I'll implement new rules in my life, like not looking around for things to do at the last minute, just leave the undone things for when I get home. Maybe, I could reset my clocks, and try to forget the times that I set them. I could just try walking out the door and not looking back. Nah, who am I kidding, those things will never happen, I'll just have to be determined to get there, ("better late than never," I always say), no matter what time. I'm not being cavalier, I just know me, and I know at this stage of the game, I am not going to change. So go ahead, invite me to your affair, I'll be there, I can't say when, but at least before it's over.