WHAT YOU SEE IS NOT ALWAYS WHAT THERE IS
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Don't judge a book by it's cover
In our day to day comings and goings, we, at times, tend to think that what we see on the surface is the real person. Take for instance, when we see a person driving a luxury car, we think he must be living well, or at the very least he must make enough money to afford it. The house in which a person resides, does it convey a particular message, maybe it appears to indicate how much a person earns, or what his priorities are? Think too, when we see the style of dress of an individual, we surmise if they are dressed that way, it must indicate the type of person they are. Then there's the person who's always smiling, you're thinking, oh, she must be real nice. What about the person who has, what appears to be, a perpetual scowl? Perhaps you see what you think is a person frequently under the influence. Oh yes, and what about a person's ethnicity. All the situations mentioned herein, can be interpreted in various ways. Let's see how.
What are we looking at
Let's look at these situations individually. First let's take the person driving a luxury vehicle, maybe he is just who you think he is, someone who can really afford that vehicle. On the other hand, he could be living well above his means, or was it a gift, could it be that he was once able to afford the car, and it's paid for and he prefers to keep it. What about the man driving the old, dare I say rundown, but running car? Do you remember the now deceased billionaire, Sam Walton of Walmart fame? He always drove a pickup truck that was years old. You see, some individuals priorities are, not to reveal their financial status by what they drive. Need I say more?
Then there's the big house on the hill, or the "tiny" two bedroom apartment in what is commonly called the "'hood," oh, and don't forget about the house on wheels in the trailer park? Sometimes the house on the hill is what it seems, a rich man's house, other times it could be one that was bought and paid for years ago, and the occupant feels, why move somewhere else, after all it has sentimental values, or consider this, he just might not be able to afford it, again living above his means. The apartment in the "hood," could, on one hand be all that a person can afford, maybe the person likes apartment living, or, he could just like living in familiar surroundings. What about living in a trailer park. For some, it is an affordable retirement home, others might prefer the independence of living without encumbered real estate, or this might be all a person could afford. Whatever, if it is of concern, why not ask, (I'm just saying), You know, some people don't mind telling you why they live where they live. On the other hand you might be told, it's none of your business, and it might just well be.
Let's look at the way a person dresses. Some prefer to buy the most expensive clothes in the store, whether they can afford them or not. This just could be their weakness. Then there's the person who dresses down, but neat and clean, what message might they be sending, maybe, they feel that clothes don't make the man, or woman. What about those who use clothes for personal expressions, such as rebelling against society, or some just don't care how they dress? When I worked in a high end department store, we were told not to judge a person by the way they dress. I had a co-worker who said, once a customer came into her department, looking like a person who could ill afford anything from that store, and everyone in the department looked the other way. She followed the company's rule of never looking down on anyone, and approached the customer. The end results was, the customer spent over $1000.00 with her. To top it off, she worked on commission, (enough said). Have you ever seen Pretty Woman, with Julia Roberts, the scene where she went into the fancy boutique, on Rodeo Drive, in Beverly Hills, California, dressed like a lady of the evening, because that's what she was? Well, the ladies looked down their noses at her, and sent her packing. Later that week she went back in the store dressed in an obviously very expensive outfit, holding up her shopping bags, from the other luxury boutiques, and asked the saleslady if she worked on commission, after the saleslady affirmed that she did, Julia Roberts held up her bags and said my favorite line, "big mistake, big mistake, huge mistake." Boy, I've always wanted to say that, LOL!
Have you seen the person that's forever smiling, appearing to be the nicest person alive. But once they open their mouth, their tongue is sharper than any two edged sword, you open your mouth, they jump down your throat, and cut you down to size, all the while smiling that 100 watt smile. Of course that smile could indicate that the person is really nice. Then, you have the person that never actually smiles. Does that mean that they are not a nice person. Maybe, or maybe not. It could just mean that they were brought up that way. But upon becoming acquainted with them, you find them to be the nicest person alive, they would give you the shirt off their back, if asked.
What about the individual called the neighborhood drunk. Have you ever tried approaching them. You know, there are illnesses that resemble the inebriated state. Even if they are the "neighborhood drunk," what happened, why did they become such? Sometimes we need to look beneath the covers.
One of the most controversial aspects of this all, is that of ethnicity. It's unfortunate, that we put a lot of stock in a person's race, creed, or color. In some areas of society your ethnicity indicates your rank or standing in society, and as such, you may be considered, the smartest, the least or the most intelligent, the laziest, the most evil, the most humane, the cruelest, the least or most well off, the best athlete, the best entertainer, etc.
An Observed Example
I have an example of not judging a book by its cover, that I was privy to. During the time that I was self-employed, I had a fellow business associate, that came into new money, by virtue of his business acumen. He, at one time carried on his person 25,000 dollars at all times. I often warned him that it was unsafe, he eventually ended that practice. I digress. Once when he was in the market for a new automobile, he went shopping with his customary 25k on his person. Oh, did I mention he was a minority. He went to a luxury used auto lot, and asked the cost of a newer luxury automobile, the salesman, being what I would call a bonehead, haughtily said, you guessed it, 25k, (not). Anyway, my associate said, going along with what seemed to be, the joke, "you sure." Salesman Bonehead, "yeah, for 25k cash out the door, you can drive off the lot right now. Businessman, "if you're serious, write me up." Bonehead, with a smirk said, "okay, I'll do that," of course you know there were witnesses, all standing around getting in on the "joke." After the contract was partially written up, Businessman said once more, "are you sure, now?" Bonehead, "sure, see, I'm writing up the contract. (Slow day I guess). Businessman unzipping his waist pack, pulled out the whole 25k and lays it on the desk to seal the deal. Bonehead pleaded with Businessman to pay the real price, but no dice, a deal is a deal. There is more to the story, but, suffice it to say, businessman got his auto for only 25k out the door. Okay, now this really happened, not one of my made up scenarios.
The Moral
So, before you pass judgement on someone as to why they do what they do, or look like they look, give it a second thought, and remember, DON'T JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER, OR MAYBE, WHAT YOU SEE IS NOT ALWAYS WHAT THERE IS!
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I think we all wear masks, to a degree. As a police chaplain I am tasked with giving death notices to families of those who have passed-on in traffic accidents and other nefarious means. I have to maintain a professional poise when I actually want to break down, cry and run away.
There is a man who died a few years back and it was thought he was a pauper. He would walk around town, collecting scrap and selling it to junkyards. He lived by himself, in a hovel near a wooded area. Nobody showed up at his funeral. There was no money found on his person or at the scene of his natural death. A search of his personal papers indicated he had $640,000 in an out-of-state bank. There you go.
fastfreta I started writing a hub about judging too, which I hope to complete this weekend. Great minds think alike, right?
A great hub. I like the scenario between the salesman and your friend. It's a perfect example to use.
How true fastfreta...appearances are often deceptive, and that should teach us not to be too quick to judge a person or situation!
Hey Freta, Really enjoyed your hub. I try so hard not to judge people by what I see, but sometimes it's not always as easy as it sounds. You don't always have the time to get to know someone on a more intimate level. And I've found at times, where I have suspended judgment, my first intuition turned out to be right.
A very interesting Hub. Its a valuable lesson. Sometimes the people we look down on end up being the people who help us. Sometimes, its the other way round, where you see someone who you think butter wouldn't melt in their mouth but they turn out to be Jezebel. lol. That scene in Pretty woman is one of my favourites.:)
A very true hub. Thanks for picking up the topic and exploring it. Most of the time we look at the person and set our mind accordingly. We just don't try to know his inside. Which could be totally opposite to outer appearance.
I think everyone has an experience,where a person seemed to be one way and turned out to be someone totally opposite. Great HUB Fastfreta, you definitely drove the point home.
Most of the time we look at the person and set our mind accordingly. We just don't try to know his inside. Which could be totally opposite to outer appearance.
Thanks for sharing.
Nice hub. I am the one with a scowl on my face all of the time. I have been told this on many occasions by different people. It is usually because I am deep in thought and I have intense dark brown eye's. I am really not mad all the time. Once again good writing. Nice flow.
My thoughts and opinion exactly. Nice to read that other people also think so. Great Hub, great writing.
I like this hub. It is an honest approach to an often "touchy" subject. Good job. It' never a bad thing to be reminded of where we can improve, or how we can be better people. This does just that.
Wonderful article freta,
You are so down to earth and full of feelings. I love your articles.
Chris
Hi there FF. I really enjoyed this one. Thank you so much. I love your stuff.
I love the way you write fastfreta.
Hi fastfreta, from chilly England (U.K.). You've told it like it is. I had the misfortune to meet a Porche driver in a pinstripe suit in London once. He parked his car into the back of my stationary car but had no money to pay for the repairs. I loved California on a visit all those years ago. Good read.
Great thoughts and one of the classic photos of all time! Voted up and awesome! ;D























BkCreative Level 6 Commenter 2 years ago
How often do we hear of some evil horrible disgusting murderous person finally being arrested while being caught in the act - but folks will still defend him. Based totally on the 'cover' of that person. How he looks, where he lives, what he drives. If he looks 'right' then he cannot possibly be guilty.
I think part of the US problem is that we are only consumers - that's our sole purpose in this economy - and we are taught to buy what 'appears' to be great, beneficial, healthy, necessary - but it is all superficial. Finally, often too late, we are finding out that all these glittery products are toxic.
Maybe we'll get it together one day, fastfreta.